Birth story of Anna Grace

Disclaimer: this may be a little graphic for some, read at your own risk!

Wednesday night I started feeling some pain in my back, it would come and go, but without contractions. It made me think it could be my body preparing for labor and knowing she was posterior, I expected I could have back labor. I went to bed around 11-12 and grabbed the heating pad, because in certain positions, I could really feel the pain in my back. I slept until about 4, on and off, when I woke up with a good contraction and then another maybe 15 minutes later. I decided I wouldn't be able to sleep through this and decided to get up and take a shower. I knew it could be the start of labor, but didn't want to get my hopes up. I had another contraction in the shower, and DH peeked his head in to ask what I was doing. I still wasn't confident to say I was in labor, so I told him I was having some contractions, but it was probably nothing and to go back to bed.I came downstairs and started brewing some tea, since I've heard it can help while in labor. I started timing contractions and came on here, and realized they were a steady 7-10 min apart lasting a minute. After 5-6 of them, I wasn't 100% sure still (I have no idea why) but decided to call my parents. It was about 5:30am at this point. The pain was definitely intense, I couldn't focus through the contractions, and my hips and back hurt like heck. I finally broke down in tears after one because of the pain. My labor with Abigail was not this intense from the start, and the pain I was feeling was much worse. I started to question my decision to do this naturally, but knew I wouldn't back out now. I decided at this point, if this wasn't it, my body had to be playing a very cruel joke on me. My parents arrived around 6:30 and Abby had woken up, so we started getting her ready for the day. DH asked if I wanted to call the birth center and I told him no, I wanted to wait until things got closer and more intense. My mom stepped in and told me no, she felt things were moving along and I needed to go. I gave in and DH called the birth center to let them know we would be coming in. I realized some of the contractions were at 4-5 minutes so I realized it was probably a good idea. Things went fast with Abby once I hit transition, so I didn't want to risk cutting it too close.We arrived at the birth center at 7:45 at the same time as my midwife, Kip, and she started filling the tub. I went right to the bathroom and realized my body started the whole cleaning itself out process and also noticed some bloody show. I think I still questioned if this was the real deal, but decided those were good signs, lol I jumped right into the tub when it was filled and it felt so good. It didn't relieve the pain, but when I got out for the first time, I realized sitting in the tub actually took some of the intensity off the contractions. I got out a few times to pee and felt like things were slowing down in the tub. I think it was about 9am and I realized my contractions were about 7 min apart still in the tub, so I decided to get out. I paced the room, sat on the toilet and the birth ball...I really had no idea what I wanted, but I thought I would just try different things to see if anything really worked. The contractions really hurt at this point, the pain in my back and hips was very intense. Nothing seemed to work to help relieve it, and I finally decided I needed to get back in the tub, if only to get a little bit of relief. My sister had arrived and everyone was in and out of the room, including Abby to visit me and see how things were going. It was nice to just be in a peaceful setting and let things happen as they were going to. I enjoyed being alone for the most part though, so I could focus and feel free to labor how I was comfortable. I was definitely more vocal with this labor, moaning through each contractions, because that's just what felt good to get through the pain of the contractions. Once I got back in the tub, I got my knees and leaned against the side of the tub, the only position that seemed to make an ounce of difference for my comfort. After about 2-3 contractions, I looked at whoever was in the room (I can't remember if it was my midwife or DH) and said "I think things are getting close" because I was starting to feel some pressure. Things are a bit of a blur from that point, but I stayed in that position and things intensified quickly. My contractions were definitely very close together and I was feeling pressure with each one. After a few more, I felt my body start to push. WOW! I couldn't believe the feeling, it's just indescribable. I kept my face buried in the towel I had laying on the side of the tub, but was aware that they had started letting my support people into the room, DH, my mom and sister, along with the 2 midwives and doula that were there. Feeling her come down was so painful, yet such a relief at the same time. I put my hand down and could feel the baby's head pushing up against everything, but she wasn't crowning yet. Clarice had stepped in to see how things were progressing, and told me that she was right there and she could feel the sac. Then I realized my water had never broken, and she was coming out in her sac. I kept feeling as she came out, and it was just amazing to feel the bulge of her sac instead of her head, which I had expected to feel all along. My body took over and I just pushed as I felt the urge. My midwives kept telling me what a great job I was doing and to go with it, which was so encouraging. I remember screaming at some point "Get her out!" as she was starting to crown. It was this overwhelming urge to push her out, that I just couldn't control. I screamed with every push because it felt like the only way to relieve the feeling. After she crowned, it was only 1 or 2 pushes and I felt her head slip out, then her body. What a huge relief! I reached down and picked her up out of the water and leaned back into the tub and put her to my chest. I remember saying "Wow, there really was a baby in there!" because the whole experience still seemed so unreal.We sat in the tub until the placenta was delivered then they helped me out and into the bed. They let my dad and Abby come in at that point, so Abby could meet her new little sister. I started nursing her, and she pretty much didn't want to let go! She ended up nursing for an hour, then I stopped her so we could check her weight and length and they could check me to see how my bleeding was and if I tore. I was amazed to find out that I didnt' have even a small tear, and I honestly felt great! I was physically a little sore, but I didn't feel even half as bad as I did after having Abigail. I know she turned before she came out, because she came out the right way, but I never felt it or realized it when I did feel it. I know she was still posterior through most of the labor though, because I could still feel moving in the same places.We decided on the name Annabelle (Anna) Grace and she weighed 8lbs 8oz and 21.5in long. She was born at 9:56am and I was amazed to see her head full of dark hair. She nursed for another 2 hours at the birth center and I realized I already had a marathon nurser on my hands! She passed a ton of meconium while we were there before we took the herbal bath, so I knew she was already getting something. We went home after 5 hours and have been relaxing here ever since. The entire expereince was just amazing overall. Giving birth completely natural was so empowering. It was so much tougher than I expected, with the back labor, but the overall experience of birthing in the birth center over the hospital, was better. I enjoyed being just free in my labor, and moving around helped a ton to get through the contractions. I know if I had been in a hospital, I would have never made it without asking for an epidural. My recovery has been extremely easy, and I feel great just 48 hours later. It's so nice to be home and relax instead of being stuck in the hospital for several days. I would do this all again in a heartbeat!

Annabelle Grace

Annabelle Grace arrived in this world on December 11th, at 9:56am.

She weighed 8lbs 8oz and was 21.5in long

My labor was amazing, only 6 hours long, lots of back labor, but I feel so empowered to have done it naturally. I gave birth at the Greenhouse Birth Center with my husband, mom, sister and midwives looking on. I'll post a quick picture, since Anna is waking up, and I'll copy my birth story off of the forums next time I get a chance.

Patiently waiting for baby

HA! Give me a break, that was easy to say 3 months ago. Now, not so much. I think patience flies out the window once you pass your due date and are still pregnant. I am DONE! I am miserable and uncomfortable and just flat out done being pregnant. I have baked my little one for well over 40 weeks and endured the aches, discomforts and emotional strain to go along with it. I can't help but to think, what is wrong with me? Is there something wrong with my body or my baby that is preventing me from going into labor or her from being born yet? Will I be one of those women who goes well over a week overdue - or....MORE! Ahhh! I'd like to keep faith in my body and trust that it will do what it needs to and go into labor when we're both ready. I have seen women go 10-14 or even more days over and it makes me wonder, why? Or is it just a misconception that all babies should be born by now, like the 37 week "full term"?
Either way, I'm miserable and very ready for this pregnancy to be over with! 40 weeks and 2 days is plenty for me, and I know I am doing everything possible to give this baby the best start. So why me? Why am I one of the unlucky ones?
I'm starting to think that I need to just disconnect myself from everyone completely for a few days. It's doing well to keep my spirits up, but I don't even want to think about being pregnant anymore or even about the baby for that matter. I know that sounds horrible, but I have definitely felt more disconnected from this pregnancy than I was with the last one. I think much of it is just this being the second baby and learning to split my love and attention. I know once she is born, that will all change. It's just so hard to walk into her room or see her things and be constantly reminded that she should be using these things. I walked into her room yesterday to put a new outfit away and couldn't even let myself think about her at that point. I just felt so depressed looking at all of the baby items in her closet, waiting to be used. Is it better this way? I don't know, I'm starting to wonder if I should get myself more involved in this pregnancy and get psyched up for labor and birth again. I don't want to watch A Baby Story or birth videos online. I want to be inspired, to get myself excited about this birth, but I hate the constant reminder of not having that yet. I know that once this baby is here, in the grand scheme of things, this will be nothing. I will forget all about the way I have felt these past few days and weeks. The problem is, how to get through it? How do I get through each day and deal with the different emotions I'm going through? The anticipation of what is to come is the worst, not knowing when it will happen or if it could be a day or a week.

Getting discouraged

I know this is silly, but I have to admit that I am getting discouraged. I know that every baby comes when they are ready and that no woman will be pregnant forever. There are so many babies being born in the DDC right now though, and so many of them at 37 and 38 weeks. It's hard not to think "Why not me? Why am I still pregnant and miserable?" I know when this baby was concieved from charting, so my dates are 100%, along with my due date. I went into labor and Abigail was born on her due date, based off of ovualtion, so all along, I've suspected that I won't stray too far from that pattern. I've been guessing 2 days either way of my due date (with the rare chance I'll have another due date baby) That would mean this baby will come in the next 4 days, and I just hope I'm right! I'm only 2 days from my due date now, and so discouraged. I want to just be relaxed about it all, to sit back and let labor happen when it will. Let's face it, what control do we have over it anyway? It seems silly to stress over something that I have no control over in the first place. But that just isn't helping the anxiety. The thoughts of "It could be any time". I've been trying to keep myself occupied and keep my mind off of things, but I'm having such a hard time. No matter how much I try, my mind keeps wandering to the pregnancy and impending labor. Why does the end of pregnancy have to be this difficult? Can't I just find something to occupy me so I'm not thinking about it so much?
It doesn't help that my body has been in full gear prep for the past 2 days. DH and I DTD a few days ago which I think is helping my body prepare. On Thursday, I had contractions all day long along with losing big pieces of my mucous plug. I'm losing even more today. Even though I've had both of these things for the past few weeks, paired together like that, it makes me believe my body is in full gear, getting ready for labor. Of course it could still be another week, or just a few days, there is just no way to know. I just keep hoping it's sooner rather than later. I can only see myself getting even more discouraged if this baby is still hanging out in a week.
There are times that I want to just enjoy this pregnancy for the little bit I have left. I'm so uncomfortable though, and now I'm not sleeping worth crap. Having a newborn isn't a walk in the park, but at least I will have somewhat have my body back! Everytime I try to nurse Abigail, it makes me wish even more that this pregnancy is over with. It has affected our nursing relationship and I know she is just as emotionally torn as I am about it. She barely tries to nurse anymore, and I'm sure it's because she can sense how tense I am going into it. It always hurts, but now it's a whole new type of pain than I've been experiencing the rest of the pregnancy. I just dread having her latch on, even though I so badly want to still enjoy nursing her. Everytime she tries to nurse, I just end up in tears. I know how much we both want things to be back to normal and I hate seeing her so sad about it. She usually asks to cuddle with my breast, which I think if you are a mother who has nursed, you can understand. I think it's her way of still being close to what she loves most, what she finds comforting, because it's the closest she can come to it. I so badly want nursing to just go back to normal and I just keep thinking, there is an end in sight when this baby is here! Even if Abby does decide to wean (which I really hope not, after all we've been through the past 9 months) at least I can enjoy nursing again with the new baby.
Well, I better get to bed. I'm trying my best to be well rested at all times, so I don't have another repeat of Abby's labor. I hope my next update is after this baby is here!

Waiting

Well, I've hit that point, and now all there is left to do is wait. I'm due in 5 days, and I'll admit that I'm getting anxious. I hate that feeling of knowing that something is coming or happening and yet I have no idea when that is. My thoughts and emotions are all over the place, I can't seem to keep them in check. One minute, I want to enjoy the time I have left being pregnant and having Abby as our only child. The next minute, I am too uncomfortable to care and anxious to see her and I just want this baby out. I'm sure there's no way to really get through this but to let it take it's course. I just wish I knew a way to find peace and just enjoy the time in this pregnancy that remains, without being so anxious about what is to come.

Here's what is hopefully my last belly picture of the pregnancy, 39 weeks:



Hopefully my next update will include pictures of our new little one!

37 weeks

Great news at my appointment, I am GBS negative and this baby is head down! It's such a relief to be negative, so I don't have to worry about anything during labor this time. The Hybicleanse rinse sounded better than antibiotics, but still not exactly appealing. Other than that, it was pretty routine, and I'll be back again next Tuesday for my 38 week visit. I also had my massage at the birth center yesterday - heavenly!

I'm hoping for the next few days to go by fast, so I will be preoccupied again. Wednesday we are going out to dinner with some friends of mine. Thursday is Thanksgiving of course, so we'll spend the day at my parent's house. Friday, Saturday and Sunday we'll keep ourselves busy by decorating the house, putting up the tree and finish setting up all of the baby stuff. That following Monday, I will hit 39 weeks, and then I'll be content to rest and just wait for labor to begin. I'm fairly confident I will go between 39-40ish weeks, maybe just slightly over, but I'm hoping not.

I suppose winter is trying to push it's way in sooner than I wanted this year. I was happy to enjoy fall for a few more weeks until after Thanksgiving was over. It's been snowing for almost 2 weeks now and it's COLD! When I turned on the computer this morning, it said it was under 20 degrees, brrr! We've had snow on and off for these past few weeks and even though it has accumulated for long, a little bit has stuck, mostly on our back deck. Abigail loves it, she has really enjoyed going outside to play with the little bit that is out there.

Hopefully I have a more exciting post to make in the next few weeks, until then, I suppose I'll just ramble!

Check, check, check!

A few more things done today to check off of my to-do list. We went to the mall and I stopped and got my hair cut, several inches so it's more manageable when the baby gets here (check!). We also stopped at Toys'R'Us and got our neice's birthday gift, who will be 2 next week (check!) and my nephew's Christmas gift (check!). I ordered both neice's Christmas gifts online the other day, and picked up the same puzzle I got for our neice for Abby for Christmas. I also wrapped the gifts we have for Abby so far, bought the baby's stocking and an ornament for Abby for this year. We have one gift left to get for Abby, which is a plush rocking chair, but the store that we'd like to get it from is waiting on a shipment of them. Everyone else is now bought for, although I'm considering getting DH something small for Christmas, even though we agreed not to exchange gifts. Another few things to add to the "done" list, I sewed and hung up the curtains for the baby's room and washed and put the covers back on the bouncer, swing and carseat. I also finished both the tandem nursing and natural childbirth books I was reading, and started packing my bag to bring with us when I go into labor. We'll put the carseat in the car next week, just before 38 weeks, and set up the pack'n'play and cosleeper the following weekend, along with decorating the house and putting up the tree (the weekend after Thanksgiving). As much as I would like to go early, I am hoping to go shortly after 39 weeks so I can have those things done. Not that it would be a big deal, but I'm overly organized sometimes and that would make me feel better to have them done.

My 36 week appointment went well. I did have my GBS test and my results should be in. I will find out at my next appointment. Clarice also had some slight doubts on her position at my appointment. She's definitely posterior (face up) which isn't favorable for labor, but just because it can make it a little more diffult and very painful. I pray she turns and if not, I have faith she may need a few good contractions and some persuasion to turn the way she needs to be. I may even consider seeing a chiropractor to hopefully get her to turn. Just to avoid that dreaded back labor would be nice. So I got off on a rant, but the question with her position: is she head down? Clarice wasn't sure if she was feeling a head at the top, or not. Although many signs point to her being head down, there's a shadow of a doubt, which is just enough. She wants to see what she thinks at the next appointment and if she is still in slight doubt, we'll have an ultrasound to check her position. That's okay with me, I would rather be sure before going into labor than to wonder "Maybe, just maybe..." I'm anxious for my appointment on Tuesday for those 2 reasons, plus the remainder of my diaper order was dropped off (Zinnia bumGenius 3.0s and the hemp doubler to use at night with Abby). I'm excited to get those and wash them and to see if the doubler will work for overnight diapering. The days seem to be ticking away slowly, although I know they are going just as fast as always. Tuesday will be here before I know it, let alone my due date!

And...I'll be officially full term on Monday! Yikes! Not that I expect or hope this baby comes anytime sooner than 39-40 weeks, but it's a scary thought. It seems like early babies are the topic lately. We must have well over 15 babies in the due date club already, all but one 37 weeks and before. My neice born in March was a 36-37 weeker and then again today, the woman cutting my hair mentioned her daughter had a baby recently, at 37 weeks. Why do these babies come so early? I can't say I'm prepared emotionally for the baby to be here yet, although I may not ever be. I'm starting to get excited for this pregnancy to come to an end. The discomforts are getting to me. I have tried to keep a good attitude. I see it this way, my chances of going to 40 weeks or even over, are still pretty good, and I shouldn't complain and make my last few weeks too miserable. It seems like things have intensified over the past week, making me more ready to have the discomfort and pains gone. Nursing Abigial is torture anymore. It hurts and it feels like my girls are just ultra-sensitive anymore. She latches on and I want to just scream. I am SO ready for that to be over with, because nursing just isn't enjoyable. It's emotionally hard, because she still wants to nurse and gets so upset when I tell her I need her to stop. It is a horrible mental and emotional struggle for me. I just keep thinking, I wish I had someone to talk to who would understand this! I need so badly to cry to someone about what I'm feeling, and yet no one can understand without having at least nursed a child themselves. I just want nursing my daughter to go back to normal again so I can enjoy it!

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!

Our first snow of the year!

Baby's room

Almost done! I'm getting ready to sew the curtains and I still have to hang some pictures. I also plan to do similiar letters to Abigial's after she is born and we've chosen a name. At least it's usable now though, if we need it (The cats seem to think that the crib is very usable already, ughh!)







Stocked closet (not to mention the dresser drawers are full) Temporarily anyway, I'm sure we'll has stashes of everything all over the house once she is here.



Bedding close up


And a recent belly picture - 36 weeks!

House pictures

Side note: Pictures are sized down to fit in the blog, you can click on them for a bigger view though.

I redocorated Abby's room with her new twin bed and bedding, and I love it! It makes her seem like such a big girl though *sniff*





I finally have the basement decorated and arranged how I want it. I prompted DH to clean out the storage room too (through the door) so it's well organized. I love the way it turned out! It gives us so much room to play and I think it will probably end up filling up fast in the next few years.

Last month!

Today marks the beginning of the last month of my pregnancy! I have exactly 1 month left until my due date, which is such a good feeling. Even though I know I have at least several weeks before the baby arrives, it feels like it is getting closer. I suppose that's good and bad. I'm enjoying still being a mom of 1, but I'm excited to meet this baby and see what she is like. I think I feel equal excitement and nervousness. Having a baby changes your life and I feel it will be the same with the second baby. It marks a new beginning and there's no turning back at that point (not that there is now). At least now though, I can still enjoy my life as it is, as I anticipate the changes to come.
I many ways, I have come to realize that a second pregnancy is easier, although harder. It's harder, because I have more discomforts and pains, and don't get to relax as much. On the other hand, staying busy has helped distract me from it, so I'm not focusing on them. It doesn't seem as bad, in that aspect. It also has helped the time pass quicker, and I can't say at any point that this pregnancy has dragged by. I'm actually torn between wanting to have this baby now and being happy that I still have a few weeks left.
I think my GBS test is at my appointment on Monday and I'm extremely nervous to find out the results. I pray I don't have it again. Luckily, I can avoid antibiotics this time, but the other option they push is something called Hybicleanse. It doesn't sound any better, I believe it's a vaginal rinse you do every 6 hours while in labor. The last thing I want while in labor is put something up there, while there's something coming out! Overall, yes, it's a better option, but it still sounds as though it will be uncomfortable. I'm pretty sure they won't do an exam, although it's a little tempting to find out if I've made any progress yet, I know it doesn't mean anything, and that exams can only introduce bacteria and infection. Overall, it's not worth satisfying my curiosity.
Well, I'm getting tired and my mind is going blank, so that's it for now.

35 weeks down, 5 to go!

I feel like as I hit 35 weeks, I am finally getting close to the end of the pregnancy. There's still 5 weeks left until my due date, but it doesn't seem all that far away anymore. If anything, it seems too soon! Even though I will likely go to or past my due date, many babies start coming after 38 weeks. That's only 3 weeks away, eeek!

The infamous question is starting to arise: Are you ready? Sure, in some ways. No in other ways. Are you ever truely ready for a baby? Even if you think you are, baby's room is set up, and you bought all of the gear you could possibly find - it's never that simple. Mentally, I don't feel fully prepared. It's almost worse the second time around, because I do know what to expect. I know the challenges and joys of raising a child. Not that I would turn back now, I am looking forward to being a mother again. I enjoy being the mother of just 1, too. I enjoy focussing my attention on her and having a little extra free time now that she is older. Physically, we are technically ready. There isn't really anything left to buy. I say, we could bring baby home tomorrow and be just fine. We might be a little more unprepared, things aren't set up completely, but it would work out. This weekend, we painted and set up the baby's room. Yay! I also started washing clothes, blankets, etc. to get it all ready (I have no idea why, I just felt like it all needed washed!)

I think the aches and pains of pregnancy are what you make of them. I know that I'm more uncomfortable and have more pain this time, than I did last time. However, I don't notice it or focus on it as much, because I'm busier and more distracted. Maybe I will feel differently if we have a 3rd, but I have pretty much enjoyed this pregnancy. I am glad that time has gone by quicker. It feels like it was just a week ago, I was 30 weeks along. To think, in those same 5 weeks, it will be my due date! I could even be holding my baby if I'm lucky enough to go a little early.

Even though I still have a huge list of things I want or need to get done over the next month, it's a huge relief to have several major things done: Abby's furniture is bought, the baby's room is painted and set up and the basement is done. I'm excited to show it all off, but I just have a few finishing touches to do with each, and then I'll be ready.

For now, I need to jump in the shower to get ready for the day. The temperature is good and the weather is nice, which means it's the perfect morning for a walk. Hopefully some others will be out and Abigail will get to see her friends, which she loves! I can't deny that I don't enjoy being around other adult women and getting that interaction. On another quick side note, I will post Halloween pictures later today or tomorrow!

The finished product!

Here it is, the our new basement family room! You can see that the ceiling isn't finished, but that's one thing we're not in a hurry to do. These were taken a few days ago, I'm still working on getting everything arranged and a little bit decorated. I'll take more updated pictures later.

Before:

I hate elections

I really do, and this year, even more than ever. I don't feel like the elections are about the issues this year, I feel they are about race/sex of the candidates or thier running mates. I've felt this way for months now, and it's gotten to the point that I just despise the whole thing.

I have to ask too, why is it that I'm being looked down on for not wanting to vote this year? I should vote for someone that I feel comfortable saying "Yes, I feel this person will make a good president" and to be honest, I can't say that about anyone running in this election. I think pushing/guilting people into voting is a poor idea. Then there are people going into it completely uninformed and candidates are being elected for the wrong reasons. It's so silly, IMO.

Let's face it, politics are a slimey deal. Politicians lie, they make false promises. We all know this, so how can we vote for someone based on these false promises. Our government system on top of that is just as screwed up. I feel like most of these people are just playing games, with only a few that truely care about what is best for the people of our country.

I'm interested to see who is going to end up in office next, and what he will do for our country. Chances are, Bush will be the last thing we are complaining about 3 years from now...

Today's the day!

As I sit here, the installers are in the basement putting in our new carpet. It's the final step, which means our basement is almost ready for us! Zane is in the shower, and he's going to go pick up our new couch, so my dad can come over on his lunch break and help him get it down there. Then we'll spend the rest of the day moving the computer, toys and everything else down there to officially make it our space.
Once that's done, we'll paint the baby's room, which will hopefully sometime later this week. We bought Abby's bed and dresser last week and have that set up. The dresser is in our room until we can move the other one out of Abby's room and into the baby's room. (post-painting) It will just be a relief to start getting things really ready for the baby and feel like we can bring her home and have things set up.

Update - they just left, it's done! I could cry I'm so happy (or maybe that's the pregnancy hormones). I feel like I've been waiting forever to get it done, bugging DH to decide if he'll do it himself, and if he's going to hire someone, to get estimates. Then our contractor was only working weekends, so it took weeks to get that part done, instead of days. Anyway, I'm sure anyone reading this is sick of my rambling about it. Pictures to come very soon!

Feeling inferior

I always hated being due at the end of the month with Abigial, because everyone else was weeks ahead of me. I hated when babies started being born at the beginning of July and I knew I would be another few weeks at least, until I had mine. Being due at the beginning of December this time, I thought I would escape that...I guess not. Everyone else I know that is pregnant, is due in November. Ughh! They ask me how I'm feeling, what do I say? They're 2, 3 or 4 weeks ahead of me, so obviously thier aches and pains are worse than my own. I know from last time that it only gets worse as you near the end of the pregnancy. It doesn't help when someone says "Oh, I was still feeling good when I was that far along". Let's face it, we're all pregnant, we all feel like crap many days. The worst part of a 2nd baby, is knowing what to expect. I know everything gets worse the farther along I am, and by the time I hit 38 weeks, I'm going to be pretty miserable. I'll also be so much closer to holding my baby, which makes it all worth it.

Family cold

It just figures that everytime one person gets sick, the rest of the family isn't far behind. Abigail caught a cold and sure enough, not even 24 hours later, I had the same thing. Usually, DH is behind by at least a few days. Why can't these things just be quick, too? Our last cold lasted well over a week. This one started on Tuesday and it's Saturday, and still going full force. I wish we would get a little bit of a break too, it hasn't even been 2 months since our last one. It could be a long winter...

This time next week...

I will feel so much more complete!
We went back in and found another style of carpet that is already in stock, and cheaper, so we ordered that instead. Fred (our contractor) is coming Saturday and finishing the basement on Monday. The carpet installers will be here on Tuesday and we bought the couch for down there yesterday and it will be delivered on Tuesday! Here's the one we decided to go with:
http://www.vcf.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/ProductDisplay?partNumber=1096796&Nao=7&langId=-1&numberOfResultsPerPage=12&referrer=shelfPage&storeId=10001&catalogId=10153&N=4294966708%200+4294967163&categoryId=4294967256
We love it because it's the chaise style. We used to have a chaise with the couch we have now, until the movers lost the ottoman to it when we moved to Florida, grrr! We only got to use it a few months, and we've missed it since, so when we saw this sofa, we fell in love with it. It will provide us with a ton of seating down there too, which will be nice. I have a feeling we'll spend a lot of time there with the kids. I can't believe the basement will finally be finished on Tuesday, I am so excited to start using it. Then that means we can start on the baby's room once we move the computer and desk out of there. Hopefully by the end of next week that will be painted and set up too, yay!
We also bought Abigail's new bed yesterday *sniff* I'm excited, because we've needed to move her to a twin bed. She's in a toddler bed right now, which isn't bad, but I'll admit, it will be more convienent for me to have her in a twin. Right now, she nurses in the rocking chair or wants me to lay down with her (just imagine, my preggo-butt trying to squeeze into a toddler bed with her, yikes!). Now I can just lay in her bed with her to nurse her. We'll need the rocking chair for the new baby anyway, so we would have had to figure something else out if we kept her in the toddler bed. I already bought her bedding and I'm excited to get her room set up, it will be so cute! We pick it up today, so I should have it done by tonight. I'll post pictures of everything in the next few days!

The end is nearing

48 days left, yikes! It seems like the end of the pregnancy is quickly sneaking up on me. While at other times, it seems like there is still so much longer to go. I'm starting to feel the crunch a little bit. I would ideally like to have everything ready between 36-38 weeks. It's not so much that I want to be prepared in case she comes early, I know the chances of that are slim. Being realistic though, my energy level is going to drop dramatically over these next few weeks. I know it will be hard to get even the simple tasks around the house done, let along the extra stuff. Our basement is still in the works. We have the walls partially done, and painted, and this weekend the contractor will be back to finish them. The fact that he only works weekends has really put things in slow motion. Then, we went in to order our carpet and it turns out it suppose to be 2-3 weeks before it comes in! They were out to measure yesterday, so that's 2-3 weeks from today before the basement is ready for us to start using. *cries* That alone puts me at 36 weeks, and I was waiting for the basement to be finished to start on the baby's room, because everything we have in there now, has to be moved into the basement. I'll be honest, I'm sick of waiting though. I told DH we're going to start moving things out of the room, putting it in the storage area and go ahead and paint and set up the crib and dresser. Then at least I can start decorating the room and get things washed and put away. I just want to feel like things are getting done, especially when I know I have the time and energy to do them.

Weekly Menu - Sept 19-27th

Friday - Frozen pizza and salad (DH will be gone for drill this weekend)

Saturday-Sunday - We will be at my parent's house for the weekend, so whatever my mom cooks!

Monday - Sloppy Joes with mixed veggies

Tuesday - Pineapple chicken, mashed potatos and corn

Wednesday - Spaghetti with meat sauce and garlic bread

Thursday - Grilled pork chops, baked potatos and green beans

Friday - Chicken pot pie

Saturday - Tacos and corn

3rd trimester!

I can't believe how this pregnancy is flying by. Today marks the first day of the third trimester! I've passed the double digit mark and now have about 90 days to go until my due date. In some ways, I feel like 13 weeks is still a ways to go. I haven't done too much preparation yet and probably won't for at least a few more weeks. Other times, I do realize that the next 13 weeks may fly by and I should kick it into high gear to get ready for the baby. So far, I've started dragging the tubs of clothes, blankets, bibs and burp cloths upstairs from the basement, to get an idea of what we have. I bought bedding, although we'll be at least another month before we start on the bedroom (most likely longer). I started buying some clothes, and realized we need more than I thought. I still need to get some much warmer sleepers and outfits with long sleeves and pants in 0-6 month sizes. I bought a snowsuit at Old Navy on Friday because they were having some good sales. I started ordering my fall/winter maternity clothes, because the weather is getting a little cooler and my tank tops aren't going to work for much longer. In reality, there isn't a ton more to buy. Just the cosleeper, a swing, our diaper stash with some more wipes and wetbags, more clothes, and items to decorate her room.
Really, I'm not ready for this pregnancy to be over yet. The thought of getting 4 hours of sleep in 1 hour stretches each night, being tied to the couch for hours on end nursing, and trying to comfort a screaming baby that can't tell me what's wrong, makes my head spin. Babies are a joy, but also so much work! For now, I can deal with some of the discomforts of pregnancy and wait out the next 13 weeks for this baby to come. I'm sure in about 10 weeks I will feel differently, but I'm very happy being pregnant for the time being!

Research

It's a word that means a lot to me. I feel very strongly about research now that I have done it myself and have learned so many things. Many of us base our opinions or assumptions off of very little information or facts, or off of someone else's experience.
One thing I notice a lot, being a member of a "mommy" forum, is that many people have very strong opinions on a subject, based off of little or no research. We many times base our opinions off of the opinions of others or information they give us. I can't stress it enough though, do your own research! Especially when it comes to making decisions about your children or thier health. Things like vaccinations, circumcision, and feeding play a big part in our children's health. So many times, we just do what everyone else is doing, or what our doctor implies that we should do. To most, that seems like the logical choice, "listen to your doctor", but I can tell you from experience (as can MANY other moms) that doctors are far from being the only source of information. As parents, there's always more than 1 way to do things. It may seem like our doctor wants what is best for us or our children, but I'm beginning to think there are many other factors that play a part in it.
Either way, I just ask that you always do your research on subjects. Learn the pros and cons of the different options. Weigh them out for yourself and your family and do what you feel is best. Don't let someone else influence your decision, it's your resposibility to stand up for yourself and make an informed decision.

Talking politics

This presidential election seems to be one of the most talked about elections yet. From a woman and black man running for the Democratic spot and now the possibility of the first black president and woman vice president. My personal views lead me to vote Republican most of the time, so I had planned on voting for McCain this election. I was so disappointed to wake up to the news that McCain had chosen a female VP running mate :( Most people's first reactions have been that it's such a wise move on his part, because he'll win the votes of the Clinton supporters and get many of the 'soccor mom' votes. Why am I disappointed? It's a publicity stunt. He didn't choose her because of her views or because he feels she'll be a good vice president and to me, that is important.
This years election has turned into a high school popularity contest. Unfortunately, I feel far too many people aren't voting on the issues or because they feel one person will be better suited over the other. Typically that is how we vote, right? This year, many people are voting for Obama simply because he is black and McCain simply because he has a female VP running with him. I'm not saying all voters are focussing on these aspects of the candidates, but I do think more people than not are voting with those facts in mind. I already had issues with this election and the reasoning behind people's choice. Twice already I have heard from family members "I'm not voting for Obama because he's Muslim" This stems from the forward that circulated the internet earlier this year. Unfortunately, there are too many gullible people out there who believe these things and have chosen not to vote for him because of it. I think it's sad that is what our presidential elections have come down to. Voting for someone because of sex, race, or simply because they believe rumors about another candidate.
I know there is usually a lot stressed on voting because we have the right to vote. This year, I'm strongly considering not voting at all. I can't say with confidence that I like either candidate (or the independents running). I don't feel comfortable saying "I voted that guy into office", support him and agree with his policies - and I feel that is how one should vote for the leader of thier country. It's a sad day to think that this is what our presidential elections have come down to.

All about baby

My favorite thing about being pregnant: feeling and especially seeing the baby move. Isn't it amazing? I'm disappointed I can't enjoy it as much this time around as I did the first time. I'm so much more preoccupied than I was with my first pregnancy, especially with Abigail, I don't get to stop and feel the kicks as much as I'd like. It's such amazing validation of the life that is inside of me, to see her kick around like that.
I just realized something earlier today, I made my first baby purchase! At this point last pregnancy, I had bought many things. Not too much, because we wanted to wait until after the shower to see what we recieved, but much more than we have this time. This time, I haven't even put effort into it. I know I need to get some clothes, but I need to inventory what we have from last time. I plan to shop next month probably for Abby's fall/winter clothes, so I will buy what I need for this baby then. I love the Carter's outlet, and always shop there for Abby's clothes, so I'll do the same for this baby and get her things while I'm there. We've been paitently waiting for the cosleeper we want to go on sale, and it's been out of stock. I pray they get it back in before it gets too late! We also need a new swing, more cloth diapers, and probably a few other miscellaneous items. I guess I never did reveal my first purchase though, bedding! I thought it would take me forever to find something. I remembered why it was so difficult with Abigail, it's not because I had a hard time finding something, but it's so expensive! So I had to find something, but also decently priced. I browsed eBay last night and ran across an auction for bedding I really liked. I had been thinking about a dark pink/green color scheme for this baby's bedding and that's exactly what it is. I bid on it and sure enough, I won! It's handmade, and new, and hopefully it's also good quality (She has good feedback so far). Best of all, I won it for only $25! I'm psyched that I got it for such a good price. I can't wait to get it in the mail and look it over, I'm hoping I'll love it as much as I think I do. At least now I can start thinking about decorating her room, even though I can't do anything until DH finishes the basement and we move the computer down there! I'd like to also do letters on the wall, to spell out her name, like I did with Abigail. The problem is, we can't pick a name! Oy vey! I do have one in mind, but admittedly, I'm having a hard time setting it in stone this time like we did with Abby. It doesn't hurt to wait until she is born though. She will also sleep in our room the first few months, at least, although I'd like to use her room for both storage and naps after the first few months. I'd like to have the dresser set up for a changing area and to store clothes, blankets, burp clothes and such in once she is here. We didn't use Abby's room the first few months, but it came in handy for that.
On a bit of a side note, I hope to attend my first La Leche League meeting this week! For breastfeeding for over 2 years, I'm suprised I haven't yet. I had tried to get in contact with the leaders for the group where we used to live, but never had luck. I ran into the leader for one of the Lansing groups at the birth center last week and she took my info and emailed me thier information. The next meeting is on Wednesday and it's a toddler meeting. I look forward to meeting other nursing moms, especially toddler nursing moms! I also met a great woman in my neighborhood today. I guess it goes to prove, you can't judge a book by it's cover. I've seen her walk by many times, almost everyday, and my first impression was that she might be a little odd. Why? I don't know, maybe because of her looks. I stepped out this morning with Abigail to play and she was walking by with another woman (a grandmother who watches her grandson during the weeks) I had already met. They asked if we wanted to join, so we did. As we started talking, I realized how wrong I had been. She's extremely nice and we have more in common than I would have thought. She's also an advocate of natural birth, going for her 3rd attempted VBAC but also using a midwife. The thing I found strange about her appearance, the high socks she always wears. Well, she has a clotting disorder, which I know they are reccomended in those cases. Duh! Why was I so stupid to judge someone by thier appearance, I really should know better? She's also due with a new baby in November, so I guess we'll have 2 babies very close in age! I'm hoping to get to know her better and I'm excited that I'm finally putting myself out there to meet other moms. I've always worried I wouldn't have enough in common because my parenting style is usually different than the majority of other parents.
I also found a class for 1-3 year olds, it looks like a mommy and me class. It's to help get younger children more active, it sounds like, but I like the idea of going to meet other moms. I'm hoping to remember to call for more information this week so we can sign up. Abby hasn't had too many children to play with over the past few years, I think it's good for us to get out and meet other moms/toddlers. She needs the interaction as do I!

Finishing touches

I thought settling into this house would be easy, but it's been harder than I've given it credit for. For once, I feel like I can make a permanant investment in this house. I've never wanted to invest much money into decorating the homes we've lived in, because I can't be sure if those same things will have a place in the next place we lived. 2 things I've never wanted to do in the other places we've lived is to paint and put up curtains. I didn't want to invest the time and money into painting walls we only could enjoy for a year, or less, then paint them back when we leave. (Thank goodness, I didn't realize how much work it is!) I also have come across different sized windows in every house I've lived, so I'm glad I never bought curtains that were expensive. I haven't been able to use the same ones twice, because every window is differently sized.
I know it can take a while to get settled into a new place and even over the first few months and beyond, you tend to change things around and add the finishing touches on the home. In my case, I love change, so I'm always moving pictures or furniture. That's the problem here though, I want to be very careful about where I put things on the wall, so I don't end up with a bunch of holes everywhere! So far, I've only hung up a handful of things. There are still several things I'm still shopping for too. The dining room wall is blank for now, though it could use some furniture and pictures. I bought curtains for the sliding glass doors and took down the vertical blinds yesterday though, so now I have colors to work with. Lucky for me, I've seen several pictures that work with those colors, so I hope to shop for those this week. I found a small framed saying that fits perfectly between the dining room/kitchen, but the kitchen remains a blank slate, besides paint. After shopping around a lot, I've concluded the only thing that will go with the darker tan colored walls is the java/coffee theme that is so popular. I wanted to avoid it, but I can't find anything else I like. I don't want to overdo it though, so I will probably buy a few small items and decorations, in case I outgrow it in a few years and want to redo it. I am thinking a large mirror over both the couch and our dresser would look good, so I've been on the lookout for both of those. I still need to do more decorating in the living room, but that might be in the months to come. I need to add color, but I need another perspective on what to do with it. Since it's such an open space with the dining room, I can't stray too much from what I already have.
I guess there's so much left to do. We need to fix the lawn, plant some trees and landscape the front yard a little bit. I'd love to put in just a few plants or flowers to spruce up the front of the house. The bathrooms are pretty much done and once I repaint Abby's decorations for her room to match her twin bedding and finish sewing her curtains, her room will be complete too. Oh, this is so much harder than it looks!

Weaning

What's on my mind today that I can write about? How about weaning?
Honestly, I'm getting sick of the assumption that I'm going to wean Abigail anytime soon. Yes, she is 2 years old, and she is still nursing. To be completely honest, I love it! I love the bond we have and the closeness I feel to her when she is with me and nursing. I never imagined I would still be nursing a 2 year old, it's not something I planned for. I just couldn't wean her myself though, it didn't feel natural. I feel like it's something she needs to do when she feels the time is right. I've always had the policy of, don't deny, don't offer. If she asks to nurse, I'll let her nurse but I won't offer it to her. She nurses anywhere from 1-3 times a day, usually once in the morning, for her nap, and at night. It doesn't take any extra time out of my day to do this, all of those times I would be either in bed, or helping her fall asleep anyway.
I hate when everyone assumes that I'm ready to have her wean. My mom is the worst. Everytime the subject comes up, she has to say "But you will want a break between this baby and the next" Actually no, I'm excited to think that we might tandem nurse. I think it will be a great experience. She did nurse all 5 of us, but she weaned us when she got pregnant with the next. It's so hard to explain to people why I have let her continue to nurse and why I have no plans to wean her. I know in today's society, nursing a toddler is very taboo. Some don't understand that weaning from nursing is different than hiding your child's favorite pacifier or getting them off the bottle. The attachment my child has to nursing is also and attachment to ME. Chances are, I wouldn't permanantly scar her by weaning her or suddenly telling her no more, but I'm sure she would put up a fight. In the end, I would feel guilty too. Did I do what I felt was best? No, my gut says that she'll give it up when she is ready. And is there really any harm in letting her continue? No, if anything I feel this is helping her in some way. As parents, we all do things differently. For me and my child, I feel this is what is best.

Small update

We've moved! It's official, we are in our new house! Tonight is my first night alone here, after not even a week. My inlaws were here for about a week and a half, and left this morning. DH left this afternoon and will be gone until Thursday night because he has some training to do at thier headquarters in IL. It feels good in some ways to just relax and not have anyone around, but I have started to feel lonely very quick. It's amazing how accustomed you can get to having people around you.
I don't think I ever got around to posting pictures of the house before this, but I plan to take some once we are more settled in. I still have a list of things to get including curtains and decorations to complete the look. What will be the new baby's room is our temporary office/spare room until DH completes the basement (which I asked he get done before she is born). I haven't even touched this room yet for unpacking, since it's where my MIL slept for the past 5-6 nights. The rest of the house is unpacked, but I still don't feel completely settled. I guess that will come with time as I put the final touches on the house.
Speaking of the baby, we had our mid-pregnancy ultrasound and found out we'll be having another girl! I'll be honest, I was a little disappointed to hear it wasn't a boy. For some reason, I really let myself get set on having a boy this time, even though I tried hard to keep an open mind. I am glad we found out though, even though we originally planned not to. I think if I had gone the rest of the pregnancy thinking this baby was a boy, I would be pretty stunned when she came out! This gives me time to change my state of mind and get excited about having 2 girls. I already have thought about how great it is that Abigail will have a sister that is close in age.
I'm off to bed, last night I didn't get enough sleep so I'm getting an early start tonight!

So much to do, so little time

I'm so tired and I badly need to go to bed, because I have to get myself up early tomorrow if Abby doesn't beat me to it. We spent the day at the house again, painting a few more rooms. I didn't do much for painting, but made 2 trips to Lowe's, which took over 2 hours of my day to do. Ughhh, why didn't I just over-buy paint to be safe? Of course, I didn't realize my mom would be picky about it, she insists on doing 2 full coats, no matter what I say. I feel so accomplished though, which has made me feel good. So far, the things we've gotten done at the house include:
Cleaning thoroughly (although it will need vacuumed and touched up a little when we are done painting)
Yardwork
A few misc. jobs, such as putting up a gate, putting up some fixtures, etc. There's still a lot of those left to do though
Painting the kitchen, bathrooms, living and dining room - we will finish our bedroom and we have painters coming tomorrow to do the stairs and enterway because the ceilings at 17 feet tall, yikes! They are also sanding down Abigail's room, because the former owners used texture in the paint, and we need it off to paint it. It will be a full day's job just to sand it down, ughh!
Appliances are being delivered tomorrow also, and at that point, the house will feel so much more complete just with those.

We still have a handful of things to do. There's tons of miscellaneous jobs to get done around the house. I need to get the hardware started on the kitchen and bathroom cabinets if I can. I want to install the toilet paper holders and towel bars/rings in the bathrooms (the former owners didn't have any of those in the 3 years they lived there, not even holes in the wall like they took them.) The new sink and kitchen faucet needs to be put in, but I can't do that. I need to install doorstops, vaccum the whole house again once the painting is done, and call carpet cleaners to get the carpets done. I also have to call to get the tv/internet/phone hooked up. Lots more little things to be done, but I take it one day at a time, and I feel so much better at the end of each day we are there. We are planning to move August 1-3, I'm just waiting to hear back from the moving company to be sure those dates are set. The next 2 weeks are SUPER busy, with appointments, (midwife appt, ultrasound, Abby's checkup) and then Abby's birthday is next Wednesday. We have an open house this Sunday, and my BIL's birthday party the weekend we move, and my inlaws are coming that weekend too, eeek! So much going on, I'm going to be going crazy!
Thanks for reading my craziness, I just needed to sort out my unorganized thoughts!

Going green

So it's the new fad, going green. Is it a bad thing? Unlike many fads, no it really isn't. I think we've really slacked off on caring about our environment, and it's just become second nature to use disposable products regularly and not give a second thought about where they came from. We do need to think about our futures though, and our children's futures. We think the little bit we do, makes such a small difference, but that's not true. Look at how much you throw away every day. Where did it come from? Is it paper or plastic? Can it be recycled or will it decompose easily?
I started using cloth diapers 18 months ago, when Abigail was around 6 months old. I didn't put a lot of thought into, it's just something I wanted to do. When I was even a few months pregnant, I started thinking about using cloth. Since I wasn't set it on it for any reason, I let others talk me out of it. I went back to the idea when Abigail was a few months old, but I was a little nervous to get into it. There were actually a lot of options, and I had so many questions about how to do it, what I needed, and how hard it would be. Since then, I've really thought about the environmental and cost benefits of cloth diapering. Our diapers paid for themselves in just about a year, so we've cloth diapered for free since then. After using disposable wipes for a bit, it became a pain, because I needed both a diaper pail and trash can for the wipes. So why not do cloth wipes? For the whole package deal (wipes, wipes warmer which makes it easier to use them) it paid for itself in just 3 months. So I haven't spent a penny on wipes in, oh...9 months!
I never thought that a simple thing like cloth diapers, could lead me to become such a green person. Once I started using cloth diapers, it occured me how many diapers I was saving from going to a landfill. Those suckers don't break down, they just sit there. There's certain chemicals used in disposable diapers that are getting into the land and polluting. It seems silly to some, but really think about it. As for wipes, look at how many wipes you throw away each day as a mom! Yikes! So my whole thought process started changing and my mind turned to everything else I was throwing away and wasting. Once I put some thought into it, I was amazed! How many food packages do you throw away each day? What are they made of, plastic or glass? How many times do you choose plastic over paper (a renewable resource, just to plant that idea in your head)? Probably a lot. Plastic plates are easier to use than paper. Plastic bags are easier than paper bags to carry. So everyday, I bet you choose plastic over paper at least once. Even the trash bags we use are plastic!
What can we do? How can we make a difference? Just start small, start simple. You might be amazed at how your thoughts change by making a few small changes. I'm still in the process of changing over. I have always recycled glass and metals since living here, because I would bring my trash to my parent's house to burn, instead of having a trash service. (My parents have always done this) You can't burn them, so we've always thrown them in a seperate area to recycle. I started giving thought to the amount of paper towels I use regularly, so I went out and bought a cheap set of absorbant towels. Now, when we have big or even smaller spills, I grab one of those. I'm going through so many less paper towels since! I changed from dryer sheets to dryer balls, to save the waste of those. I just bought a handful of reusable shopping bags to use, instead of getting plastic. I'm switching over to green cleaning products, but not things you buy (Greenworks), but things around the house. Baking soda and vinegar fulfill almost all of your cleaning needs. Vinegar disinfects and deodorizes and baking soda can be used for scrubbing. Along with a good sponge or cloth, and you can clean your bathroom, kitchen, windows, anything! (Do a search for homemade cleaning products and you will see). It saves the environment from the toxic chemicals and also saves the packaging. How many people here use Clorox wipes, toilet wands with disposable brush heads, Clorox ready mop, Swiffer, or a similiar product? All disposable products, with the only benefit being that they are easier than the traditional methods. I have saved every box from everything over the past 1 1/2 years, along with plastic bags. I didn't do it to be green, I did it because I knew we would moving again in the next few years, and it's better to have these boxes saved than to buy them when the time comes to move. I figured that plastic bags would be perfect packing material, which I've used before and it does work well. Once again, it saves us from buying those things later on. We found out that someone will be hired to move us, so I felt bummed about wasting all of that. Then I did some research and realized that many recycling places take plastic bags! They are a 2 plastic, along with many other plastics we use. So this became my new goal. I found a recycling place close to our new house and got a list of what they recycle. I plan to buy some small bins to put in the garage and recycle not just glass and metals, but also batteries, all plastics, newspapers, magazines and everything else. It's really simple if you think about it. Pick up a few bins on your next shopping trip. Label them and put them around the house wherever they are out of the way, but handy. Start tossing recyclable items in the bins. Everytime you go by your local recycling place, drop the stuff off. It will take, what...maybe 10 minutes out of every week to do this? Right, and who doesn't have 10 minutes or can't make 10 minutes for something like that?
Keep thinking about what you can do to make the difference and become green yourself! Start small, find one thing and do it. In a week or a month, find something else. Once you have a free 30 minutes, go around your house and make a list of the things you can change and start from the top of the list by making changes. You're saving the environment, even if it's a small difference, but you are also setting an example as a parent that your children will learn from. That may be the most valuable thing of all! So what's your excuse? You don't have the time, the money, or disposable products and disposing of products is just easier? Well, STOP! Take a minute to listen to those excuses you are making. Doesn't it sound a little selfish? You don't have the time, you can't be bothered by doing such a small thing, you don't want to spend your money (and how many times a week do you eat out or buy something useless...?) It's time to stop making excuses and start thinking and caring. I don't really care how small the difference I make is, it's still a difference. That's all that should matter! I also hope to inspire others, not just my children, to follow my lead and do the same. Then my small difference, becomes a much bigger difference. Isn't that worth it?

Oh, my brain hurts...

Who knew choosing paint colors could be so stressful?? Will I like this color, is this the right color? What if it looks darker, lighter, greener or bluer once it's on the wall. Ahhhh! I may be driving myself nuts here. I still have to wait until I can bring the paint samples to the house to get a color for the kitchen. I just ordered Abby's twin bedding for her new room, which is very similiar in color to what she has now, but I need to compare and make sure before we go ahead and paint. I can't say I'm looking forward to painting, it seems like it's going to be a lot of work, but it will be worth it in the end.
DH's parents came through for us, and they were able to give us the gift that they had promised us. Lucky for us, we found out today that we won't owe any money at closing. The downside is that we didn't know if we would get this money, so we couldn't tell them we had money to put down too. It's not big deal, this money will go towards the appliances, fixing the deck, all the other miscellaneous things we needed for the house, and finishing the basement, and best of all, we shouldn't have to dig into our savings for it. That's such a relief for me, because I really wanted to keep as much in our savings as possible.
This pregnancy is going by fast, but I'll admit, it's been pretty boring so far. All work and no play. Headaches, backaches, bloating, fatigue, nausea...will the fun stuff start already? I have a little bit of a bump, which is nice, but I love the nice big round belly. I also can't wait to feel those first real kicks. I feel little movements, tickles, here and there, but they're still so light. I want to feel real kicks, especially from the outside. It's so neat once that starts to happen! For now, I'm trying to enjoy some of the simple joys of being pregnant, but not really feeling pregnant most of the time.

Busy, busy

It's now July, which is a big month for us. We close on the house next week, eeek! I'm excited, but nervous that something might happen and things won't go as planned. Let's just hope everything continues to go smoothly!

We went shopping Saturday and Sunday and were able to get several things we've needed to get for the house. Even though we don't close for a week, Zane will be leaving about 4 days later, so we wanted to buy our appliances and such before that. We found everything we wanted at Sears, and they were having a pretty good sale, so we ended up getting some good deals. We bought this stove :http://www.sears.com/shc/s/p_10153_12605_02271479000P?vName=&cName=&sName=&mv=cmp

We decided on this refrigerator:

http://www.sears.com/shc/s/p_10153_12605_04604569000P?vName=Appliances&cName=Refrigerators&sName=Side-by-Side+Refrigerators

We also bought an over-the-range microwave, since counter space in the kitchen is a little weird, with the bar on the one side. We'll be better off having the microwave in space-saving location, rather than clutter up the counters with everything. Plus, the one we have is on it's way out, so that was something we were going to buy soon. We also got several miscellaneous items at Lowe's (like cabinet hardware) and bought a new dining room set, which we've needed. I'm just excited to finally close on the house and get in there and start working on it. My mind is all over the place, with thoughts of what we need to get and things we need to do. The more that gets done, the less I have to think about.
Also, my MIL has decided to come visit this summer. I don't really mind the visit, it's WHEN she is coming to visit. She wants to help us move, which seems like a great idea, until I think of entertaining houseguests in the midst of a move. My FIL will also be coming for at least a few days, and I can guarantee he won't be much help unless we're actually moving that weekend. I really wish they would come at a time that we could enjoy having them here, instead of a time that is so stressful. I can get a little stressed out having them around anyway, I'm just worried how bad it will be when we are moving too.
Abigail's birthday is coming up! This month, on the 23rd, my little girl will be 2 years old. Amongst everything else, I still have to finish getting her birthday gifts. We already bought her a bike, Tickle Me Elmo and a broom set (she loves to mimic me sweeping). I still want to get her a set of blocks, and I had a few Elmo things, like a hooded towel and utensils, that I saw and wanted to pick up. Her party will be the following Sunday, since Zane will be home that Saturday from his drill. I'm doing a Lilo and Stitch theme for it, because she is big on that right now. My mom is making a Lilo and Stitch themed cake, I won a banner, napkins and streamers off of eBay a few days ago, and now I just have to get some balloons and invitations. The balloons will be easy, I can get those off of eBay for cheap too, but the invites will have to be whatever I can find. I'm not feeling creative enough to make them this year, and the ones I can find are pricey, since the Lilo and Stitch theme is discontinued.

In case I'm not back before Friday, Happy 4th of July everyone! Remember to keep in mind that freedom isn't free, on this Independence Day, and remember the soldiers that are still serving overseas. They need all of the thoughts and prayers they can get to return home safely to thier families.

We need a break

I really dislike DH's job right now. There's times that I have to remind myself of the good aspects of it, just to keep from telling him to quit. We were told this job would require very little out-of-town travel, and now we're going on our, ohhhh...5th or 6th week that he's been gone overnight at least once. He was gone for drill 2 weekends ago, home Sunday night, gone Wed-Fri that week in New York, came home, we had Saturday, Sunday he was gone all day, because we got him and my dad tickets to the race, then he's home for a day and off again the rest of the week, back to Ohio, then New York; he was home Thursday and had to take off again Sunday to go back to Illinois for some conference for work. He'll be home probably tomorrow afternoon, but now they might have him and his coworker stop for a job somewhere along the way, so we might be lucky to have him back by the end of the week. Can we catch a break? At this time last year, he was in the middle of a 14 month deployment, I didn't think it would be too much to ask to have my husband home. We've adjusted pretty well, it was actually harder when he was gone all week and only home a day or two on the weekend. Abigail is doing well transitioning to having him gone for those few days, and suddenly appearing at home one morning. It still sucks though, we need to spend some quality time as a family. My MIL wants to pop in while Zane is still gone to drill next month, she even mentioned staying 4 WEEKS! (Where's the shocked smiley when you need it?) Yikes...I did 3 weeks last summer, on my own, and wanted to rip my hair out by the end. I don't know if having DH around is better or worse, at least I have someone to be my advocate when I need it.

So far (*knock on wood*) everything seems to be on track with the house. We faxed in our application packet last week though, and they called yesterday claiming they haven't recieved it. Grrrr! Zane had just talked to the woman we've been working with, a few minutes before we sent the fax, and she knew it was on the way. Why didn't she call sooner when she realized she didn't get it? We're going to be p*ssed if this delays closing, because we did what we needed to, and worked our butts off for several days getting everything done that was needed. We're still waiting to hear back from the appraiser/inspector and we're hoping for good news. Most of the house doesn't worry us, it's not old enough to have any problems. It's apparent that the deck off the back was a DIY project by the previous owners, though. Workable, but a little unsteady overall. Even if they don't require us to fix it before moving in, we'll do it ourselves for peace of mind. Our realtor also mentioned that they could note that the house doesn't have appliances, and require them before he can pass it. I'm not so worried about about the inspection, we just need to close on time, because Zane leaves a few days later for his 2 week drill, and then that would really delay things. I wanted to do a few small things while he's gone, even if I can't get the painting done, which is the major project.

I had my first midwife appointment yesterday at the birth center. So far, I really love it. It was strange having such a comfortable setting for an appointment. I was the only one there, besides the midwife and the woman who works the desk, which is definitely a first for a prenatal appointment. This time was just the basic medical history appointment, to get my background and get to know me. She gave me a lot of information, on nutrition and such. I'm really excited for the birth (and probably equally nervous too) just because I know things will go well this time and I'll be much happier with my experience.

Here's a few pictures of our peanut I never shared. This was at 12 weeks.

Catching up

I was having some troubles with Blogger, so I haven't been able to update in a while. A quick rundown...
I'm 14 weeks pregnant now, which means I'm officially in the 2nd trimester! Over the next month, the pregnancy will start to get so much more exciting, with feeling the baby move and watching my belly start to really grow. I think I've felt little peanut, but I can't be sure, so I hate to say that I have. I was the same way with Abigail though, I was unsure for a week or two because the movements weren't that strong. I felt her for the first time at 18 weeks, so hopefully a little sooner with this babe. I'm feeling better, no more nausea or major fatigue. I've developed more frequent headaches and predictable nighttime heartburn (oh, joy!). My belly is growing, but not much yet. I've pretty much been the same size for several weeks, with a little pop at one point. I grew 0.5 inches, so we're getting somewhere. I know the true growth really starts in the next few weeks though. I'm excited to get that adorable baby belly again!

We are in the process of buying a house. We finally found one that we really like, and after taking a second look, we decided to put an offer down. I'm such an impatient person, so it's hard to wait like that, with no idea when you'll get a response. Arghhh! But we got the call the on Wednesday that our offer was accepted, so we have the house! Now we are starting another lengthy process of getting things done to close. The most fustrating thing so far has been trying to figure out financing. After almost a full day of fustration, I'm starting to understand what is going on. The terms are confusing and figuring out what this is for or what that is for. We need someone to sit down with us and explain some of this, it's very hard to do over the phone. But Zane was in NY all week, so we haven't had a choice. He'll be home later tonight and tomorrow we're going into a local bank to get a quote from them. I am hoping that we get some good news, because the bank we've been working with so far, hasn't told us what we want to hear.

I'll update with some pictures and more later. Hopefully I don't have anymore problems getting on, what a pain!

On the hunt

I'm getting so excited, tomorrow is our first day of real house hunting! I've mentioned before how excited we are to buy our first home and now we have the opportunity. We have our pre-approval and just recently got a letter from them in the mail stating our credit scores. Out of 3 companies, mine are well over 750, one over 800. I know that's really good, and DH's are a little lower, but not by much, still between 700-750. We should be able to get a really good interest rate with those. We have about 7 houses to look at tomorrow in our target area, which is near an expressway (which DH will need for work), near Battle Creek (also needed for work) but close enough to Lansing that I won't be far from my birth center. We also have 4 more house more west and south of the area, but that is getting a little far away, so we'll look at those next weekend, if none of these work out. I don't think 7 is too bad, it gives us a lot of options. We have been looking for weeks and have narrowed down tremendously from our original search. I'm going crazy today, trying to map the route we'll need to take to make it most time-efficient, so we don't run too late, and so we're not retracking ourselves go between houses. I'm now going to look more into the areas they are in, which luckily, several of them are in more rural areas, which is what we like. I want to write down a few things we'll need to look at with each house, pros and cons we can already see, and then make a list of items we need to check at each house, such as is there a fenced in yard? How big is the living room, is there plenty of cupboard and closet space? I'll take pictures of each place fully while we're there, so we have something to look over when making our decision. Goodness, I think that's a little too organized, but it can't hurt, can it? I also have to look at school districts, yikes!
Ok, so enough of the house rambling. I'm just excited to take this next step, one step closer to buying. We'll also be Abigail-free tomorrow, since my dad has offered to watch her for us. I know she'll miss one out of the two days a week she'll get with daddy, but it will be far more difficult if we have her with us. In and out of the car so many times, we have to make time for diaper changes, meals, etc.

Beautiful day

Today is beautiful! The sun is shining bright and the temperature is suppose to continue to rise into the 70's. The last few days have been gorgeous, it would be silly not to take advantage of them. A little warmer than we usually have in the spring, but I won't complain. I have been opening all of the windows, hanging diapers on the line and playing outside with Abigail. These type of days make me feel so good. Yesterday started out cloudy and gloomy, which started my day gloomy. I don't know why the weather seems to affect my mood so much. Of course, pregnancy horomones may play a small part in it. :P
I am feeling pretty good. I have some bad days and some good days. I was really nauseous for about the past 2 weeks, and it seems to have died down the past few days. It's good, at least I can eat a meal without gagging. My cramping has completely disappeared, but fatigue has not. It hits many times a day, so I just take it easy, and then take advantage of my active periods to get things done. So far, the time is moving quickly, which is great. The first trimester is always a little boring, and I look forward to watching my belly start to grow and feeling the baby kick.
We've contacted a realtor and hopefully will be looking at some house next weekend *jumps up and down* Unfortunately, we weren't approved for as much as we would have liked. About $8,000 less. DH's parents had promised us sometime in the past year, $5000 to go towards buying a home, since they did the same for my BIL and SIL. It would be really helpful now, because that is going to be the difference between buying a home that really suites our needs and one that we'll just settle on. When DH asked them about it, they said "We don't have the money right now". They can afford yet another vacation this weekend, but somehow can't scrounge up the money they told us they were going to give us. Why did they even tell us about it if they couldn't back it up? They knew we were going to buy soon, if they "didn't have the money" they shouldn't have said anything in the first place. It really makes me mad, I should have known better. I really don't want to dig into our savings too much for a down payment, we need to keep a decent cushion in there in case we need it.
Zane will be home tonight from his first drill weekend with the National Guard. He hates it...go figure. He does this all the time though, he will commit to something before thinking it through and then, ooops! Just like the college classes he took last year, and he now won't finish the degree, because it has nothign to do with the job he was hired into. Or EOD school a few years ago. He decided when he was almost done, he no longer wanted to do it. We extended from 4 years to 5 1/2 years just for that, to have him change his mind. We could have been out a 1 1/2 years ago and most of all, no second deployment. It makes me mad that he won't think this kind of stuff through. Then he looks back and regrets it, you would think he would learn by now.
At least the training for this job is already 2 weeks in, only 2 1/2 months left to go. There's so much to look forward to this summer, I hate to wish the time away, but I am. I'll enjoy as the pregnancy progresses more, when we move into our first home, and when Zane is done with training. I just hope it all goes smoothly!

We're expecting!

TTC really paid off this month, because we're expecting! We found out last weekend, although I suspected it a few days sooner. I'm due December 8th, so we'll be having a holiday baby! I'm excited, a little nervous, but none-the-less, very happy to be having our next child.
So far, the pregnancy is going very well. Minimal symptoms, just like last time. Some slight nausea, fatigue, and my breasts are getting sore, which is worse this time around since Abigail is still nursing. We're hoping for a boy this time around, which we planned BDing around, but we will be estatic with whatever we get. I am excited because I know this pregnancy will go by faster, and I know what to expect now. It was all new territory for me last time and now, I've been there, done that, and have no fear of the unknown. It also helps that I know what I want, based on my last birth experience, and can have a better one this time.
DH leaves tomorrow to start his training for his new job. He was offered the job that allows us to stay in Michigan, but the training is 3 months long, in Illinois. He will likely be home every weekend, which will be nice, but the weeks may be a little stressful until I adjust to being alone again. We are driving eachother crazy being together so much, so this should be good for us. We have already started looking at houses online and hopefully can get in contact with a realtor and start viewing some in the next few weeks. I'm so excited to buy our first home!

Day 4, no nap in sight...

Today marks Abigail's 4th day without a nap. I hate when she does this! I gets so fustrating, especially when the late afternoon comes around and she is so tired, no one can stand her. It's not so much that she resists a nap. She now recognizes when she is tired and will grab me and pull me into her room, saying "night, night". She then nurses and falls fast asleep...until I move. Then she is wide awake and ready to go again. She goes through these phases every few months, this one impaticular, several times this past winter. I've tried everything, I just have no idea what the answer is.
Patience: something I don't have. Trying to concieve has only tested that. I have to admit, it's better this time around, because I keep busy and don't obsess over what's going on. I'm not 7 DPO (days past ovulation). With Abigail, my temperature rose at 10 DPO, which is how I knew I was pregnant. My chart went triphasic (my temp rose a 3rd time, to indicate implantation), so I took a test and it was positive! A faint positive, but positive none-the-less. I am hoping when (staying optomistic here) I get pregnant this time, the same thing will happen. I'm trying not to obsess over what is going on. I have what I think could be "signs", but I don't want to admit it, so I don't jinx myself. I'm hoping in the next few days I'll either get a temp rise or I won't, and I'll know for sure. I still have almost a week before my period is due, so I just have to wait it out...
Something else I need some patience for, the job hunt. DH is off to another interview tomorrow. He left this afternoon, and I'll be honest, it will be nice to be home alone for these few days. I'm excited, but trying not to get my hopes up too much. It's a second interview, so this is it, either her gets the job or he doesn't. The job conference we went to last weekend turned out 5 interviews and 4 of them were interested in a 2nd interview! This is the first of those 4, but also our top pick, because it has an opening in Michigan, so we wouldn't have to move far. It does come with a catch though, it's 3 months of training in another state :/ It's a disadvantage, because he would be gone 3 months, although he could get home on weekends and we could visit him there. It's an advantage because it would give us 3 months to move. Either way, he still has the job here to fall back on, he just hasn't started it yet. Hopefully this week or next, it will be nice to have a decent paycheck coming in again! I just hope everything turns out as it should!

Month 1

Well, this is officially our first month of TTC. (TMI ahead) I should be ovulating anyday now, and DH and I are doing what we can to be sure we give it a fair chance (if you catch my drift, lol). DH had a job conference in Chicago this weekend and I decided to come along, or I should say we, because Abigail is here too. I'll be honest, I'm excited to ovulate, weird huh? It's like I've accomplished something even though I have no power over it. Then it's onto the 2 week wait, which will be torture. When we had our slipups a few months ago, I was fine the first week. Then I started to watch my temps a little closer and be aware of signs of implantation. Honestly, there are times I wish I didn't learn all of this stuff. It's great to be aware of what is going on with my body, but times that I wish I didn't know because it makes me even more anxious.
Chicago is nice, although we're not in the downtown area. It's still busy, though, and unfortunately, most of the jobs he is interviewing for are in the Chicago area. I like having things close for the convience of it, but I hate being too cramped. I want a house with a little bit of a yard, so Abby can play. I don't want to live on a busy street or drive down an 8-lane highway to get to the grocery store. I definitely like the small town atmosphere better. I guess this job conference is basically the first interview. He'll be interviewing with 9 companies tomorrow and from there, they will decide if they want him for a second interview, then a job offer, if they choose. DH does have a job waiting at home for him, which he was offered last week. It's not a great paying job, but it makes ends meet. He's already started the hiring process and should actually start it in the next few weeks. That's great, because then we have an actual paycheck coming in, but bad, becuase he will have to work any interviews around the job. I am still having my doubts, because I'm not sure if I want to move. We just got back a month and a half ago, and I want to settle in somewhere. I also am hesitant to leave my family, it's nice to have them so close. Chicago is only 4 hours away, which isn't bad at all, but still far enough. It's not exactly just a day trip for anyone.
Abigail is sleeping well so far. She slept through the night last night (thanks to the hotel providing actual cribs and not pack'n'plays, she sleeps horrible in those) and just took a 2 1/2 hour nap, woohoo! I think we might go explore the area for something to do, and there is a mall acorss the street. I promised DH I would have dinner waiting when he got done at 6 and we're both hoping for pizza tonight. We have had to really cut back because of our lack of money, and we only used to go out to eat once a week as it was. It's such a treat to go out more than once in a week, we don't know what do with ourselves, lol

Mischief!

Abigail is such a mischief maker this morning! Ughhh! She started by grabbing the bag of grapes (already off the stems and washed, so easily dumpable and wet) and dumped them everywhere. A few minutes later, I sat her down for breakfast and left to get my coffee. When I came back, she's scooping her yogurt onto the table, making a huge mess. Apparently, she had no interest in eating. So she gets down, and wanders off. Next thing I know, I hear a huge crash. I find the bag of M&Ms I forgot to put away last night, all over the living room floor. She wanted one, so she undid the bag, and dumped them. I thought that it couldn't get worse... Just a few minutes ago, I saw her grab my handheld mixer from the cupboard. No big deal, right? The beaters are in the drawer and what can she possibly do with it? Who knew she actually knew how to plug it in and turn it on! I guess you should never underestimate a toddler! I suppose I need to be on my guard today, who knows what she's going to do next!

TTC

So, DH and I have talked it over and it is official, we've decided to make the leap and start trying for our second child! I'm so excited, I have had baby fever since Abigail turned 1. DH didn't come home from his deployment for another few months, so I tried to suppress it. I thought once he did get home, I would be against having another baby so quickly. Boy was I wrong! The first few weeks were fine, then we had a slipup. Of course, that got my hopes up and it was all downhill from there. I couldn't help but to feel anxious for another baby. It's just natural, IMO, to want another child, especially once you realize your little one is growing up. We had made the initial decision to wait, not just because DH had just gotten home, but also because DH was getting out of the military soon. In January, we left North Carolina to come back to Michigan and he was officially out in February. We knew that everything from there was going to be up in the air, and we didn't want the added pressure of a new baby in the near future, to add to it.
I was so happy that DH recently found a job, but still unsure how he felt about trying. I knew I will be ovulating soon, so I decided it was time to have "the talk". I explained my feelings and was so glad to hear him say that he understood and he also thought we should start trying now. Phew! It has been a bumpy road, we are going through some very new things right now, but this puts a bright spot into the future. I am so excited to become a mother again, and I'm excited for DH to experience this pregnancy and baby, in a way he didn't get to with Abigail. He was gone some of the pregnancy, and I was very glad he was home for her birth. He left again when she was about 8 weeks old for a 14-month tour in Iraq. It was hard that he was only able to experience her growing up through pictures and video. We were fortunate to have that, but it still was not the same. I want him to come home from work to see our child's first smile or hear that first giggle. I want him to be able to rock his child to sleep and have that attachment and interaction with him or her, that he didn't get before. Abigail became very attached to me, since I was her primary parent, and that made it hard when he came home. He's been home for over 4 months now, and she still is having difficulties. She will not take her nighttime bath or shower without me there. Last night she screamed the entire time. She also still has a hard time letting DH rock her to sleep, she just wants to nurse to sleep. If I leave and DH is home with her, she usually throws a fit because I am gone. I guess I was hoping the transition would be smoother than this, especially after a few months.
Enough with my rambling though, I am so glad to officially share my exciting news!